Unfortunately, Dave Schnetzler passed away on Sunday, January 22 at the age of 69 due to a crappy myocardium, not to be confused with his otherwise big, loving, and generous heart. Thankfully he passed at home surrounded by family, as was his final wish.

Born in Ohio as Michael Jay, he moved to RI around the age of 6 and subsequently changed his name to David, since that was what his mother had been calling him for 6 years anyway.

While it could be said that Dunkin’ coffee was the love of his life, Dave is survived by his wife of 41 years, Deborah (Sharkey). Dave and Debbie were childhood sweethearts, their relationship beginning when Debbie was only 14 and Dave was 16.

Dave is also survived by his eldest daughter Kristen (aka Ruby), middle daughter Allyson (aka Ruby), youngest daughter Laura (aka Ruby), grandson Austin (aka Ruby or Laura), and son-in-law John (who may or may not have ever been called Ruby).

Dave served as a medic in the Navy for 4 years, and subsequently built his career at Texas Instruments for nearly 30 years after. Some of our fondest memories include sitting at the dinner table listening to Dad regale us with stories of the previous night’s fart pranks between him and his fellow work friends.

Dave loved computers, notoriously collecting them in the basement with promises to fix them up when he had the time. As such, he was able to provide working computers to families who couldn't otherwise afford to buy them.

When he wasn’t at work or in his basement workshop, Dave spent the majority of his time teaching his daughters to play baseball, bringing them to games and practices, and being their loudest cheerleader on the sidelines. He continued this tradition with his grandson.

As he got older, Dave took his role as the self-appointed neighborhood watch very seriously, spending his days people watching while sitting on the porch with the newspaper, a cigarette, and a styrofoam Dunkin’ coffee cup.

While Dave spent most of the year impersonating David Crosby and arguing with mom as to when he would get his annual haircut, he was equally fond of Ghost hunting shows, playing candy crush, As Seen on TV products, and learning how to distill his own moonshine. He also had a strong love of the grossest candies (red vines, good n plenty, spice drops). Probably so he wouldn’t have to share with his kids.

Over the years, Dad spent a lot of time instilling us with quirky anecdotes mixed with important life advice, such as: why worry about the 'what if's'? What if a dog had a square @$$h0le? It would s#!t bricks'. He also taught us how to be kind and generous individuals through his actions toward others; Dad was always trying to find ways to help people in any way he could.

We will be celebrating Dave’s life on January 28th at Saint Basils Church (15 Skyview Dr, Lincoln, RI) with a calling hour from 10-11am and followed by a Mass of Christian Burial. Come share your favorite Dave stories and memories with us, we’d love to hear them all.
In lieu of flowers, please bring booze. Just kidding, Mom. But really, in lieu of flowers, please consider donations to HopeHealth Hospice & Palliative Care, 1085 North Main St, Providence.

In the meantime, we'll be spending the next few weeks counting his ridiculously large collection of Mississippi mud jugs containing his wheat back Pennies.

This loving obituary was written by Ruby, Ruby, and Ruby.